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About the oddities of advertising

Advertising pathology

In pseudoscientific circles, it is generally accepted that advertising is a widespread virus that develops under the influence of the microbes reklamus agentus, which, in combination with congenital diseases of directus idiotus, can provoke very serious disorders in the business body.

So what are you complaining about?

Running a business without ads is like winking at girls in total darkness.
Stuart Henderson Britt, American Psychologist

“Hello, I represent the journal Uryupinsk Daily. We would like to offer an advertisement for your ball-bearing factory in our magazine.” Is that familiar? If you are not bothered with such calls several times a day, then you are lucky. However, there are times when you still need to give an advertisement.

In pseudoscientific circles, it is generally accepted that advertising is a widespread virus that develops under the influence of the microbes reklamus agentus, which, in combination with congenital diseases of directus idiotus, can provoke very serious disorders in the business body. For prevention, it is recommended to hire menagerus poreclamus-ipiarus, which is a fairly strong “anti-idiotic” that can defeat the disease even in the most advanced forms.

What are you complaining about?

Doctors from consulting distinguish the following types of development of this dangerous ailment:

1. “Product Advertising”. The tumor is benign. Occurs in the event of acute consumer information deficiency. It is treated by universal advertising of the target audience.

2. “PR campaigns.” Also belongs to the category of benign tumors. With a favorable course of the disease, it contributes to the creation of a favorable image of the clinic in consumer patients.

3. “Be on the hearing.” In pseudoscientific circles, there is an opinion that the quality of the product and the level of advertising are not critical, but experts believe that everything depends on the degree of spoilage of the target audience. You understand that it’s one thing to advertise Sneakers, another thing is villas in Italy.

4. “Praise to the head physician.” The scientific world has not yet decided on its attitude to this type of advertising fever. Leading scientific minds, however, believe that the result in this case depends on the correct treatment, as well as on the innate disposition of the leader to directus idiotus.

5. “Ambitious statements.” Recently, unjustified statements that the “Clinic of the 3rd Biberevo microdistrict are ahead of the rest” are also included in a separate form. Most doctors are inclined to think that the best advertising is not words, but actions …

6. “Put that, I don’t know what.” The last paragraph refers to special cases and is a symbiosis of paragraphs 4 and 5. The authors of this scientific work decided to separate it separately – here, alas, medicine is powerless. Sometimes advertisers themselves do not know what they want – they are asked to tell about their children, about how big a carp they caught at the age of seven, or about how good their car is. If the publication is non-specialized, then such a “treatment” of the consumer will not only not be useful, but will also lead to severe exacerbations.

I’ll take it on my paw. Expensive

Jokes aside! Now, after the diagnosis is made, it makes sense to proceed to medical procedures, that is, to advertise. It will be easier for those who, with a view of prevention, to start their own advertising and PR manager, as a qualified specialist, thanks to his knowledge, experience and connections, will place the advertisement most profitably and effectively. It is necessary to remember about the human factor – in the case when specialists save a lot on salaries, advertising can be beneficial for the manager himself, but not for the company. Sometimes there are even detailed and beautifully designed “kickback” prices. Whether to sit on this hook is up to you. The situation is obviously losing, because you cannot prove the fact of payment in the event of a transaction failure.

MPA Marketing Research

When the company has already decided on the task, it is necessary to choose an advertising medium. As a result of marketing research, the advertiser, as a rule, knows what groups the target audience of his products or services consists of. Most decent media and advertising agencies have their own marketers, as well as ready-made studies of their target audience performed by leading companies such as … (cut out by censorship). The simplest method is to select media with intersections of target audiences and place themselves where the intersections are the most. Marketing research conducted in the media or for the media, often inspire great doubt about their reliability. The best assistant in avoiding visionaries is common sense.

Random decision generator

If in megacities, primarily in Moscow and St. Petersburg, even the most seedy company plans advertising budgets, then in the province things are much more sad. Sometimes it seems that all decisions of an advertising nature are made by a random number generator.

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